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Its quite surprising how just not being able to bend your knee impacts life.

I mean how do people who live with this, or worse clean up ??  so far Ive found the only way I can clean a room that has been trashed by two five year olds, is to lower my self (not very gracefully) onto my arse, and shuffle round backwards, leg dragging behind me, bags in one hand, allocating items, to the bin, or the charity shop bag, or to deposit in areas as I shuffle around to them.  Its not very pretty or quick, but it gets it done eventually.  I think perhaps I need a litter picker thing??  Or help!  But as I have neither of these I will instead keep working on getting carpet burn on my bum!

Making the bed is quite frankly, something I’m glad nobody videos! Our bed is a lumpy ass, well worn (think two toilet training toddlers at once mess, along with the other bodily fluids that accompany very sick children and then been bounced on vigorously every day of the three plus months we have been in splendid isolation – as to be fair to them, that and running found in circles three ft wide is about their only form of exercise! ) and its on the floor!  So far the best I can come up with – is unhook one corner (thank god I did yoga daily, as I can touch my toes without any need to bend knee!) and then turn around, drop backwards on to the bed.  Stretch out to to other corner, unhook, then roll roll roll like a little sausage roll, to the other end, drop off end and unhook to remaining corners and then do the very ungraceful clumsy, scramble to my feet J and then repeat to attach new mattress protector, and then new sheet- accept as in all good things, this has to be repeated multiple time as obviously corners come off and need to be redone!  Its like the worst workout idea ever!! 

Beans in the bottom shelf cupboard,  right at the back?  No worries, gently lower self to floor – as kitchen is not very large, shuffle self into a position where you can reach into cupboard with leg, bending or hitting anything else – of course this will mean, you are not actually in a position to reach the damn beans!  Secretly wonder if this wouldn’t be easier if they actually chopped the damn leg off!  bend over backwards and sideways until you manage to reach a can – you cant see the can because of the angle you are at, so hope and pray its the right one – obviously it wont be so repeat until your lucky dip comes up good, or you can persuade your kids to eat kidney beans on toast instead! 

As for having a bath…… Let me tell you about my first attempt!  In my wisdom I allow D and S to paint my splint (they are disappointed I don’t have a caste!), and that tuns into painting, my whole leg, both legs, both arms and a bit of my chest.  Well at least I wont get too sunburnt I think.  However, I hadn’t factored into the equation the fact I have not yet had a bath and am not meant to be having one.  So nothing for it, but to work out a way of doing this.  I devise a plan!  I can get into the bath with the splint (will wash off the paint from that whilst Im at it! ), take off splint, hang it to dry, whilst I bathe, and then let out all the water, before reapplying splint and carefully clambering out of bath!  Foolproof!! 

Very carefully and very slowly negotiate way into bath, without putting any weight on bad leg, and not slipping and breaking my neck!! Take of splint, hang up to dry.  It feels like bliss to be in warm bubbly water.  Within seconds of relaxing back into the water I hear a yell, “mummy D’s done a poo!!” as my little girl comes running in covered in it.  As I try to negotiate getting out of the warm, clean bath water,(this is not remotely graceful, imagine, slippery seal, attempting to clamber out of swimming pool!) she proceeds to wipe of the runny brown liquid, that does indeed smell at lot like poo! All over me!!  Whilst telling me d’s poo was runny and its all over the bed you just made.  And yep sure enough, once out of nice clean warm bath (that took me a heck of a long time to get myself into!), its to be faced with the wonderful reality, of a bed (did i mention it was newly made, specially to rest my clean, freshly washed splinted leg on after my bath!)covered in poop, runny copious poop, that smells that very special type of poop you have when your tummys not too well! 

There is nothing for it but to give up ! on the bath idea and rinse and repeat the whole make the bed saga, but this time with a soggy splint!

I have no warm fuzzy, mindful message for you here, only the wisdom that sometimes you just have to surrender and get through the day!!  And that sometimes life is very very messy!!